Reason's to:
I don't have a girl.
Elias could use someone close to his age to home school with.
Biological drive?
Babies are a beautiful experience.
I like baby stuff ( baby wearing, baby clothes, nursing advocacy, etc.)
Babies are the ULTIMATE expression of love between two people.
I keep thinking-- my entire identity is wrapped up in motherhood- who will I be and what will I do when they don't need me so much. WHAT will I do when they don't need me at all???
Reasons I don't want another baby:
I don't really feel that our family needs another baby. I know Craig does NOT want another baby. I know that it would be insanely stressful for me. I know I wouldn't get that fantasy nurturing and pampering other women get from their husbands when they are pregnant or have new babies. I know that Craig doesn't want to have the weight of another person's needs in his life. Basically, I know it would not be the fantasy in my head- because it wasn't last time ( and still isn't). I am not knocking Craig. This baby stuff just isn't for him. ( although he loves his baby, he doesn't tolerate the work of babies well). He is who he is. His wants and needs are just as valid as mine- they just conflict with mine.
I like this thinner than ever in my adult life body.
I would have to push Elias on a few growing up things. I don't want to. He still co- sleeps, but a new baby would take that space right next to mommy. He falls apart when spending time away from mom, and a new baby would need my attention.
I barely get any me time now with two kids.
It's too easy to let Jake take care of himself with Elias's needs in conflict- that would increase if there was another baby. Jake still needs me too.
We have an even ration of adults to kids.
The world doesn't need more mouths to feed. 
Birth HURTS!!
The stress of Eilas's birth was insane on Craig. He was worried about everyone and everything.
Ironically, Elias has had a sudden increase in his carefulness and attention to babies smaller than him. Last week, one of my 6 year old nephew's was over, and Elias was going nuts trying to hold and kiss and love on him.
Ironically, Elias has had a sudden increase in his carefulness and attention to babies smaller than him. Last week, one of my 6 year old nephew's was over, and Elias was going nuts trying to hold and kiss and love on him.
Is there a natural drive and a personal cycle of baby wanting? Is all of this thinking just driven by nature to make sure I keep procreating? My mom thinks so- my hormones out of whack, Elias liking babies, etc. What do you think?
2 comments:
oh hon, I'm sorry! (btw, you look FAB!) I think for everyone it's different. My urges came when #1 was 18 mo. and #3 was 3. Never got one with #2, just a surprise baby. =) Funny, #3 did not get along well with babies until she was 3. That pushed a strong button for me.
You know I feel you on this one! James feels much the same way about more children, particularly the baby stage, he doesn't have a lot of patience for it. And your post struck a cord in regards to support during and after pregnancy-James was not good about that. Even though he's "snipped" it still doesn't stop me from unrealistically wanting another, sigh.
It started right around a year with both of them and gets worse when I ovulate. I think it's combined hormonal and emotional. I always wanted a large family.
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